Another Day, Another Doctor

Days since injury: 13Days on crutches: 13 Casts: 3 Doctor Appointments: 4 Prognosis: Grim (not a good night)

Every six months, I visit my neurologist for a check up. My nerve disease is degenerative, so it's important that we pay attention to symptoms getting worse. Usually the kids stay home with Giovanni. But we all went to the neurologist this morning. This visit, of course, was all about my ankle. My doctor is concerned about slow-healing and damage. The MRIs are not for another week. And it just doesn't feel better. If anything, it feels worse. This cast is tighter. For some reason, I get swelling at night and last night it was excruciating. I am keeping it well elevated. And that helps a bit. I go back to the orthopedic surgeon on Friday.

I had really hoped to be in much better shape right now. But that's a big lesson that I must remember. Let go of expectations. Because I lost control the minute I stepped into thin air. I can feel constant disappointment. But that doesn't help me heal faster. So deep breathing.

But pain wears me down. I've had some major melt downs in the past two days. One adventure that I missed was that Anika got her ears pierced.

She has talked about it for awhile and she felt brave with Giovanni so they went for it. I really wanted to be there. And that hurt, feeling sidelined as summer passes on by, as these moments arrive. Next week is the county fair and I am apprehensive about how long I will be able to stay, even with the wheelchair.

With any injury, life manages to wait for a little while. Family accommodates. But life won't wait forever. Birthdays, holidays, events arrive whether the injury is ready or not. Ian's birthday is in three weeks. School is in two weeks.

Deep breaths. Every single doctor yanks me out of my worries for the future. "Stop," they say, "Stop right there. You need to focus on healing. Seriously."

Seriously. As if it can hear me, my ankle is unhappy again. Angry. I hope I get to sleep tonight, last night I got about 4 hours of sleep. I can hope, right? Keep hope alive :)

And in all of the healing and worrying and medicating, Ian says, "Mommy, take a picture of my silly face."

And, just like that, the snowglobe of my life settles down. Family is the best medicine.

I hope today brings you laughter and good dreams :)