The Winding Road

The longer I stay away, the harder it gets to post. I fall so behind! I didn't get to write about this.
Or this
Or this
Or this
Or even this
The story skipped Easter, our overnight trip to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, her Pioneer School days, and her birthday!

Oh my, this mama gets overwhelmed! I am also working on two big writing projects that I hope to share soon. And we are rehearsing for Peter Pan in class. And my calendar is filling with doctor appointments.

I have constant pain again. This time in my hip. So we are in investigaton-phase. Hopefully it's easily fixed :). That is always the hope, right?

When I stop to reflect these days, I get wildly anxious. I know I do too much. I don't know how to slow down. I feel like this frenzy will lead to better space. But in the meantime, I don't know how to patch myself together until I reach those calmer waters. With my husband still searching for work, I am the primary breadwinner in the family. That feels plain wrong, since I am on disability. But it's true. So all of my choices carry big consequences.

If downtime felt indulgent before, it's guilt-ridden now. Any quiet is crowded with chores, creative projects, and helping my daughter with her reading. I have no space for healing. For recharging. It's a crash-and-burn pace. I know it. And I don't know how to change it.

Only a month before summer, hurrah! Summer is usually a great time for me. Turning off wake-up alarms is healthy :)

Meanwhile, May will be insane. No off-days. Tomorrow is full with my side-projects.

In June I get to breathe easier. Until then, I will try not to drop our story again. Short and sweet is better than silent :)