Walls

Why is it that when I hurt, I get angry?  Snarling at the world, dark skies angry.  I think because it triggers all that fear about future limitations, as well as triggering all the frustration with my current limitations.  I bang at the walls that seem to be closing in on me. I can't type much tonight.  I have to rest my hand.  It is really really tough for me to rest my hands.  I do not like being still on a regular day, but today I was going to prep angels to sew with Firefly (forget that plan).  I hope to make Christmas Fairies with my Dragonfly class later in the week.  I have ornaments to make.  Craft kits to assemble.  I do not have room for pain.

Pain makes it's own room.  Settle in for awhile.  Last time this lasted a day or two.  I was good about the resting.  This time hurts more.  It keeps tweaking at me.  Notice, notice, notice.

I notice.

I'm angry.

Deep breaths.

We had a great Saint Mikulas celebration tonight.  He knocked on the windows and left treats for the kids.  A candle for me.

Off to rest these hands.